When adversity hits and your partner and friends remain compassionate and supportive, it is the best of circumstances. You can find the depth of your friendships when things are difficult.
Emotionally healthy people can be supportive. They might retrieve your prescription, prepare a meal, and keep you sane. If you need it, a friend might accompany you to a lawyer, or a doctor. Listening for the said and the unsaid, friends are essential in trying times.
Emotionally healthy people are able to handle being with your trauma without needing to compete with your challenge and without getting unduly upset by anything. They can be the rock for you, while handling their own life. They do not expect you to support them while your needs are very large. Granted, there can be a tipping point if your needs take up more of their life than they can give. Despite the fact that no one is responsible for your life, but you, healthy relationships are gifts in difficult times.
Sometimes, many of your friends may be under their own stress. So notice if you are judging. Keep letting go of the attachment to having certain friends help you, or certain people supporting you in certain ways.
Expectations make you hurt more when those expectations are unmet. Moreover, expectations can dull your gratitude. When you expect certain actions, does the fulfillment qualify as a gift? Or is it a satisfied expectation? If the friend knows that there is a requirement, the contribution is short-circuited for the giver.
You may receive a short phone to offer sweet words. If you are grateful for that, the small act can lift your spirits, even if it does not completely “cure what ails you.”
There may be more than emotionally healthy friends in your life. When you are in hardship, the trick is to stay aware of who in your life is willing to support you in word or deed. If you are open, you will find that the people you would least expect to help do come to your aide. Whether from a friend or an acquaintance, others’ love can go a long way to hastening your healing.
When closed to this opportunity, you miss the contribution that acquaintances have to give. Not everyone is in your inner circle. Any healthy relationships, such as those just outside your main circle may fill a void, just because they can. An acquaintance may have a skill that you need in a crisis. You may learn who cares more than you knew. Those acquaintances may take a more prominent place in your life after your adversity lifts.
Wherever it comes from and no matter how close you thought you were, healthy relationships are healing. A few words may be just what you need to get unstuck and move you past the current stalemate. Embrace the many people around you that would love to make a difference. Everyone is a gift in his or her way.
Before adversity comes, give thanks for healthy relationships in your life. Let people know how much you cherish them. For maximum enjoyment, strive to be that emotionally healthy relationship for others.